FROM LEMON/Friend Advice Column

Why Romantic Partnership Power Struggles Must Remain a Work in Progress

How’s that working out for you?

Suzanne V. Tanner
3 min readMay 6, 2022

Written by: Suzanne V. Tanner and Amy Marley

Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Did you marry your high school sweetheart?

My dear friend Anna did, and recently said it feels like that wedding date was a century ago. True, Anna talks about current times, when covid has exponentially added to relationship stress.

Still, covid or not, the longer you are with someone, the easier it gets. Right? Indeed at some point, an automatic pilot groove is reached, and the ol’ you no longer have to work at it kicks in. Yes?

Um. No.

The first thing I said to Anna? “Read this terrific FROM LEMON guest writer piece by the talented Suntonu Bhadra.”

Suntonu discusses how he and his partner manage the 50/50 ongoing negotiations in their daily lives. It is interesting to read how they adjust, discuss, try different approaches and aim to continue doing just that.

They recognize that no one size fits all in the relationship roulette. Sometimes the balance of power or task-share is skewed more to one partner than another. Yet Suntonu and his love aim for a net/net one half to you and one half to the other. A literal per-issue even-split is fantasy.

Please, dear FROM LEMON readers, take a look at Suntonu’s essay and add your feedback and thoughts in his comment section.

Friend advice is always appreciated.

How are you and your partner doing on the lightness of being continuum?

Anna and her partner also lament the loss of laughter and fun in their relationship. Perhaps when a couple slacks off on the power struggle management activities, they also give a pass to giggles and playtime? Inside and outside the playpen, erm, bedroom.



Suzanne V. Tanner

Guttersnipe. ▪️▪️▪️