The word is ingrained in us Hannah Victoria Most of us say it without pause. Such a cleaver trick that much of the world plays on 51% of us.

A dear friend who just turned 25 used it this weekend. Her mother was also at the gathering and looked on approvingly as her daughter apologized for her “selfishness” in not embracing the particular stereotypical female gender role being discussed over glasses of wine and artisanal beers. Bad bad daughter.

You know what would be cool. We should start a publication where people submit essays for potential circulation. Criteria: between 100 and 500 word ( min/max) essays on how the word “ selfish” has both 1. Limited ( or attempted to limit) your own life and 2. HAMPERED humanity

Because of course, we are taught by triggering guilt, that “selfish” (as a word to control women), will always hurt your fellow person. And true, hogging all the food, shelter, money, love, you name it WILL hurt others. But not the kind of “ selfish” we are talking about, Hannah.

The challenge would be to accurately distinguish between the “keep the women under the thumb and in their place” selfish and the “ mean as shit to people in general” selfish. The latter being unacceptable any way you cut it.