Thanks Zulie . A very relevant, well presented, nicely written article.

The first things I thought about as I read along were two words: “nice” and “selfish”. These words are drilled in women’s brains in any and every manner and via any medium. From birth. Among others, women preach these words to other women.

Be nice. Don’t act too smart, or they won’t think you are nice. The boys won’t like you if you are not nice. Don’t say no to a date, that’s not nice. Nice girls let men win. Nice girls let others win. Don’t stand up for yourself if the professor or boss or colleague picks on you, be nice.

Or. You are so selfish if you turn down that guy’s request for a date. You are so selfish if you do not have children. You are so selfish if you don’t want to make Christmas dinner for all 45 family members. You are so selfish if you don’t want to spend 5 days a week babysitting your grand children. You are so selfish if you have a job outside your home.

And then the ol’ “ double double”: you are so selfish and therefore not nice.

You do know that I could write 25 pages of further examples of all I noted above. And there would still be more.

Women are sold and women buy a tainted basket of goods. Thank goodness huh…how else would society keep a woman in her place? ( question dripping with sarcasm, added since you don’t know me)

And then Zulie, your last line:

We’ve been taught that first, you must feel wanted and virile and strong – and only after that can we express our true feelings and desires.

Like really? The kind of guy who wants or needs this from a woman, from a relationship…seriously why would one want to be in a relationship with that kind of guy? Yet as you write, they, we, do. Our programming is solid.

It’s like a rusty chain wrapped around us that somehow we have to break. And if the “we” doing the chain snapping was BOTH the guy and gal, oh my the great relationship that would result from that. And true change would follow.

Whew…I wrote a lot here. You inspired me is all. 😀