Thank you again and again, Jessica, for your brilliant words. Also your remarkable ability to drill down to the root of the matter.

I was on a train recently and watched with horror as a twenty something man verbally slammed his early twenty something female companion. They boarded and then left the train quickly, so there was no chance for a fellow traveler to say or do anything.

Yet what lingered was the vile atmosphere that his remarks and demeanour created along with her shuddering downcast eyes. In fact, the fear this exchange created in anyone standing nearby was that next a fist or gun might be pulled out, if anyone dared to say a word.

It was unsettling to say the least. Especially because one could see on his face and in his posture that he was proud of his position of control. The master. All powerful.

It was pathetic.

So unfortunately, I get that there are tons and tons of men out there who thrive on treating women like abused pets. In their minds: women are lessor creatures that must be controlled. I get how big and powerful that makes those men feel. I understand that without this contempt for and control over women, these men would be four inches tall.

I see this but it is NOT ok. Never was.

What I don’t get is why there are some ( too many?) women who also want to “ put women in their place.” I don’t get why other women do not view all women( including themselves) as equal human beings. Equal in all respects.

Then again, recently I had an opportunity to collaborate on a client contract with another woman. During the interview, as she mentioned her daughter and son, I was surprised to see how proud she was that her son constantly got into trouble with the authorities.

“ He’s my little boy” her chest rose, her eyes beamed as she haughtily spoke. On her daughter she was a big Meh.

Later on as we spoke about school, future jobs and world opportunities for her Gen Z kids ; her words stick with me today. Like glue.

“ Are you trying to tell me that girls and boys should have equal opportunities in this world? Really. Look at the boys. My boy. They are headed for greatness. The girls cannot and are not supposed to compete with that.”

Obviously we did not begin that work project. In fact we never spoke again.