She is torn apart by a judgemental society which values protecting the future of her assaulter following his “one mistake”, rather than protecting her body, her right to safety, and her dignity as a human being.
Hi Gillian. Wow. Another of your great and well written articles. The difficulty is that you and I could message back and forth all weekend and still not sufficiently cover all aspects of this age old mess.
Ready for a rant? 😀🙀
The part I highlighted and copied above ( I could have pointed out 10 more) says exactly what happens.
What did that Florida politician recently call women? Ah yes, “host bodies”. Yup, he did.
You know, this just has to stop. One half of the human population is not irrelevant. Yet even today we tolerate this. At least some of us do.
I read an article on Mediun recently where the author explained her view on one reason why some women will side with those men who do not believe a sexually abused woman’s testimony. That author effectively says that those women wear invisible blinders cemented to their skulls. ( those last italics are my words…nice, huh)
Rape and assault, these particular women believe( and they were also taught this) only happen to …you know… “those kind of girls”. The ones your Nana said: stay away from. So of course one sides with the men shouting “ lies, she’s lying” because only “ those kind of girls” have stuff like that happen to them…
And then you ask..wait a tic…some of those women siding with the “ she’s lying” men must have had some sort of sexual abuse happen to their own bodies. Look at the stats. Look at the odds.
Why, uh uh. Is the answer. These women also have to deny their own traumas because to admit it happened would make them “ one of those girls”.
Like, how twisted and fu$%ed up is that thinking? Why would any woman buy that bullshit? ( I wish I could find that article that I am referencing…)
I have personally watched a woman at a recent dinner party side with a doubting Thomas man on the topic of a woman most likely lying about a sexual trauma. Look, I know and love this woman. I love my gender. I believe in and fully support sisterhood.
Yet I also know that my friend’s self worth is tied to men thinking that she counts. That she exists. So she sides with them to gain approval, acceptance and relevance. I knew her mother. So I see where this comes from.
It’s so sad. And complicated. And society has done a number on our gender. My friend might be an exaggeration. But none of us are totally exempt.
I just want to say that we women simply have to stick together on this one. Our bodies do NOT exist to be abused. Neither do our minds( but I will save that for another time for a gender discrimination instead of sexual abuse discussion ).
People. Women. Are free to make many choices: go to university or do not. Work outside the home. Be a full time home maker. Have kids. Don’t. Eat meat. Eat only vegetables. Good grief. This list is endless. And we can chose as we wish and at the same time accept others choices that they make for themselves. There is no right or wrong.
But the part about women being “less than”, a servant, a host body, disposable, a piece of ass to be objectified and abused as any man pleases… Why can’t all women agree that this is not to be tolerated or justified anymore. And while we are on this, how about all men agreeing too.
I mean, doesn’t anyone notice that especially since #MeToo, in almost every instance the accused insists that the woman is an opportunist and a liar. Really. Every one of them.
Just stop it already.
