My gosh, you are SOOOOOOOOOO funny. I am still laughing.

I had to hold my typing finger in my lap, a moment ago, so I did not highlight your entire story. But I wanted to, just sayin'

(yes, I type with one finger...long story...had to be able to brag about not being able to type when I was grooving a high powered executive career and someone thought, given I was female, maybe I could type something...)