Jessica WildFire. Thank you for writing this wonderful article. I want to go back and read the other one you referenced.

This topic needs to be addressed over and over until it is fully understood and dealt with by (as you write): a combo of ignoring it, being strong( because one is strong), responding with a practical everyday answer like you did to the family question( yes this beautifully disarms the g-lighter).

Currently I am intentionally giving myself a year of learning and communicating on Medium before I start my own writing and posting. But when I do I plan to, among other topics, address this one. I have personally watched so much gaslighting behaviour. In my personal and professional life.

I would love to be in touch with you further about this at a later date.

Of course gaslighting behaviour is not directed only at women. But mostly it is. It is initiated as another means to silence us. Shut us up. Destroy confidence.

I hope it’s ok if I tell you a little story. ( I apologize for such a long comment but you hit on a topic that resonates with me) My story below is about one of the GL attempts I beat off with a response similar to yours.

I was at this over the top black tie party. Everyone was fully enjoying themselves. So much laughter and great conversations. I floated from one cluster of people to another. On one sweep of the room I encountered this guy who yes, always thinks he’s pretty special. He constantly talks about it.

I shouted out a Hi Bob as I zipped by, headed to another group and that’s when he steps directly in my path and says “ Suzanne, who controls you?”

( The a@%$#le really said this. I do not exaggerate. It was killing him to see an accomplished woman holding her own at this highflautin but fun event. He needed a way to put me in my place. The place HE thought I belonged. Not equal. Not a person. An appendage.)

I looked at him in the eye. Big smile on my face and said: “Well Bob, I do. I control me” then I pranced onward in the direction I was headed. He just stood there watching me. Floored.

I felt great.