“Ladies in particular love to put down others of their gender with this term. It gives them a feeling of validation. The sense of not being like “those other girls” in the same way the holier-than-thou crew in school loved to slut-shame.”
I wanted to make another comment, this one to expand on your section above. I am zoning in on the need some women have for validation when they “ put down” other women. And btw, Kyrie, thank you so much for writing this article.
I will oversimplify in my next sentence and for now only address women rather than include unacceptable prejudices in this world toward other groups of people.
The sad truth is that slightly over one half of our planet’s population(women) are, in one way or another, considered less than a man. Which makes absolutely no sense since we are all human beings and should be treated equally.
I have witnessed many women work well beyond the point of exhaustion to succeed in their chosen professions. The hurdles they had to jump were not put in their male colleagues paths. Yet these particular women: 1. are adamant that they are not feminists, 2. they pay lip service or less to support other women colleagues and 3. never ever will they address the fact that their progress was hampered because of the double standards applied to them vs. the men in their group.
By denying the reality that they faced, they believe they are in another type of club. A club that in their minds, makes them better than other women who call out the system and try to fix it. By denying that the system is tilted toward men they feel safe that they are… well… men. A real card carrying member of the boys club. Yet, this is delusional.
My description and example above illustrates just how much work needs to be done to fix things. Not only do we need more men( ALL men would be terrific) to be fully committed in action AND thought to equal treatment of women. More( ditto my ALL comment above) women need to support one another, whether they have “ made it to the top” themselves or not. These women must not care about whether the boys will still like them/include them if they support women’s rights for equal treatment.
As long as the boys clubs exist with either stated, implied or “secret” codes about the lesser role of women in society; women who think, by rejecting other women, that they have made it to the boys club, are not living in reality. That feeling of validation is an illusion.
On that note, I am happily and securely craving a red velvet cupcake…😄
