Hi Kali. One thing I really love about Medium is that one can discover a six month old article( or older) and it feels as though it was written yesterday. This particular piece is such a good one.

I wanted to add some food for thought to your points about the two way street. I agree that “give and receive” is optimal. Yet many times I have, like you, felt that the relationship was too one sided. I was doing all the “connecting” work. But over time I started to see that some relationships are just like that. Not malicious or anything. Just sometimes, people do not know HOW to reciprocate. So I learned to love myself and my own effort with out receiving similar treatment back.

It added to my personal growth journey (which of course, LOL, is always (still) a work in progress).

I have also observed that when I stopped the effort, those same folks did nothing to prolong the connection. Yet as I viewed it as glass half full or half empty scenario …I chose the “half full” part and experienced it as a critical, important part of my journey.

Today I am no longer physically there with them, I am out of sight and mind, so I disappeared in their worlds. I know that they did the care while it was going on. I am certain they did. It’s one of those things you just truly believe in your gut and know that it is not delusional. I learned that I need to use different criteria in order to come to that realization. It’s a good place to be.

And btw…not all my connections fall into this category. Just some do. I found a way to understand and receive from these outliers even though their “ giving” wasn’t as one would expect. Or desire.

Hope this point of view is useful to you.