Hey everyone. Below is a response from Amy Marley. Amy along with her gang are enjoying some family time. I am posting this on her behalf.
Dear GHOSTED,
The haunting of the “whys”, “what-ifs” and “I wonders” instantly sprang to mind reading your words. Thinking of the decades of friendships formed in my own life. If they suddenly just vanished from existence.
My heart and head hurt… just imagining. No… I won’t let it happen. I laugh at myself as I write these words. Even if there were a rule book to follow with relationships, even if I followed each rule, crossed every t and dotted all the i’s..there would never be a guarantee it would last a lifetime.
BUT - how could anyone let a single seemingly innocent issue wipe out all that history?
A season, a reason - thoughts that don’t fit with these long term relationships - the ones that feel like our soul sisters or brothers. They go beyond that. Meant to be for life.. but then I remember… we are human—beautifully flawed humans with illogical emotions running the show at times.
The past can not be erased from a single moment in time. All those moments of friendship - the threads within the fabric of who we are today - the memories don’t change - unless we let them.
The devotion - you felt it, Miranda felt it… it was real. It is real.
The reason Miranda’s lavender essence has seemingly disappeared - well, something strong tells me that the missed discussion of downsizing isn’t the cause of her absence. A mask to something else more likely.
You know that saying - hurt people hurt people…well, it sparks that list of maybes. Maybe there is something going on in Miranda’s world that you aren’t aware of. Maybe she isn’t ready to see you starting a new chapter with your brand new space. Maybe it isn’t linked at all. Maybe… and just maybe, she feels sad too. I’d bet my last dollar she is. Sad to a point she doesn’t know how to face up to whatever is causing her pain, let alone reach out to communicate to her best mate.
Treading and rolling in the sea of unknowns feels like shit. More so when the person who usually sends you a life raft is the one we believe has thrown us in. Unprepared - well, yep. Through and through. There is no “good” time for it to happen.
You have sent up the white flag with your phone calls, emails, texts and prayers. Even reached out for further advice - this dodgy mechanic has to apologize though- I have no neatly wrapped solution beyond my ramblings. I feel your pain. I wish I could magic it away, but this I feel is a time to wait… wait for your friend to find her feet, stop floating and walk back to you … she is in the midst of her ghostly image of what was expected to be and can no longer be.
The truth will come with love. Patient love for yourselves and each other. The messages are undoubtedly already in front of both of your eyes. I know you will see them at precisely the right time. I know there is part of you that knows this too.
Friends really are the family we choose. And like family - sometimes we need space to realign with the people that make our hearts beat to that feeling of home.
Much lemony love to you -
Amy xx
