Girl, there are a million lines/sentences/ words I wanted to select as the excerpt for my comment.
I applaud your brave heart and mind to write this piece. It needs writing. It needs discussing. It needs attention. It needs open minds.

Open minds( that is) to ADD to the conversation, the decision to be monogamous or not is separate from being open to discuss what “ cheating” means in general as well as specifically.

At the end of the day each couple or grouping makes up their own minds how to navigate any arrangement. The key, I believe, is open discussion and self-security to speak truthfully. Then when a contract is set, breaking it means something specific, not implied.

I agree about the “implied” part holding women back.

Danielle, I believe at the root of the problem is what generations, society, schools, church, media etc teach young men and women…from childhood. So much of it based on antiquated beliefs. And coincidently results( in many situations) in another’s body ownership, suppression of women and men as macho, stoic cavemen.

People need to stop feeling insecure or threatened by initiating these conversations. Wanting to define exclusivity or bat around fantasies or whatever, can be just that. Discussion. Yet many feel it really means “let’s do this”. I mean maybe but not necessarily.

I agree totally,Danielle. Things have to change to Make: “Don’t ask me, it’s not my body” become universal. The first step is open dialogue between/among the persons involved. With no forgone conclusion about the ultimate outcome until the discussion satisfies.

I wish, for many matters, this being one of them, that society didn’t have such rigid “good” and “bad” categories. One size never fits all.

Wouldn’t it be great when couple A does X and Mrs Jones next door does Y that both households receive equal respect for the decisions made, unique to the separate situations?