Well, fewer than five thousand, but still a lot. — Written by Saucy Smith Here you go, mah darlins’, for your speedy, lip-smacking pleasure. 1.Buy a bag of frozen super-large shrimp (8-10 count). Defrost in fridge overnight. 2. Wash, devein, and dry super-well on paper towels. 3. Set up two cereal bowls: 1 for olive oil, 1 for store-bought Italian-flavored…

Oh, darlins’ you should, you really should — Written by: Saucy Smith Photo property of Suzanne V. Tanner Mah hon buns. MSZ hung this blackboard in our Miami (South Beach) condo, later gracing walls in several cities’ kitchens. When we aren’t showering our friends with food nourishment (read: love), we write stupid little mush-ball notes to each other. …

“Well, isn’t that a nice surprise,” I said. — Lately, with so much distraction everywhere, a sit-down with a good book can provide a mental physiotherapy session, except when you don’t feel like doing anything. I suffered a major case of the blahs yesterday. Scrolling aimlessly on my iPad, I uncovered a recent purchase, a new book by the…

I do not mean what one spreads on bread with peanut butter. — It’s that time, folks. Fresh vegetable season. Treat yourself to pan roasted almost anything from the farmer’s market garden. Do this: 1. Reach for a sheet pan, wash and dry your chosen vegetable of the day ( no, silly, skip the soap!) 2. Set the oven to 450F 3. Drizzle…

One hundred heart emoji Toy dishes were my jam as a kid. Later Mazie said: “Suze, stop buying bowls.” Concerned, I asked, “Will non-dog people understand?”Before R, relationships and anguish were synonyms. In those dark days, my heart soared only when I heard the lapping rhythm of my beloved Teddy…

Spoiler alert: These lovers do NOT break up. I look again and yes, you are here. Two hydrangeas planted in a reasonable garden, not quite ten years ago. Blossoming so intently, we obliterated any exposed ground. Ivory hued blooms in abundance, poking skyward as one. Down under a root radiograph shows melding, identical patterns, burrowing…

Dinnertime cozy-comfort to soothe the ol’ lack of writing guilt. — As many of you know, via my alter ego, Saucy Smith, I have a cooking hobby called lobstersandwich. Regretfully my writing, connecting, reading, and general motivation are currently benched by an external distraction of unusual size. Short solution: Shout out, “When the going gets tough, the tough get cooking.” …

We were not invited. — Prancing their runways twenty streets down while issuing vetted invitations to huddle, gnaw carcasses and spin untruths. Their sequinned polyester jackets discarded in a hate-rant dance, making them feel superior, omnipotent, and self-justified. To us, the shock of their unveiling showcased the style for any future: A tight-fitting sheath of…

Engulfing body and soul. — The wind squalls plastered hair to my cheeks, my fingers dressed up like windshield washers, ineffective against the reality of crazy glue, masking as water. Please don’t open your lips; I plead to my reflexes because suffocation follows. The wind rips away pieces of my soul while I bounce between…